my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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