Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
if only i could text you this smell
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
