how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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