I think I died a long time ago.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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