I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
