what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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