need another drink. this is the easiest way
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
found the other keg... it's in the tree
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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