She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
