i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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