I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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