Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
