My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
