Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
