JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
