Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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