He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
