I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
