His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Why is there bacon in the couch?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
