we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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