Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I will pee on everything he values.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize