your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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