In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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