I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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