Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
