so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
