but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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