and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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