He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
