Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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