That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
