just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
