Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We left the knife in your bed.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
