Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
