whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize