I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
