I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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