2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
