Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He shit in the fireplace
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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