In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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