Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
