Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
