You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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