you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
