Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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