drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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