When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
