I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
