whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
