Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
