so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
