I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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