I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
