real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I want to walk on stilts...naked
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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