You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
