you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
