it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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