White coat. Heels.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
