dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize