Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
