i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
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