Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
