Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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