lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
