I have demons in me.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize