Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
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