i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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