Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize