I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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