I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
