i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
