i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
