I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
