I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
