i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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