i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
