Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
