are you so shy because you have an std?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
