When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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